Hmmm... my part time boyfriend didn't send me any sms or call me today. wonder what's going on. why didn't he sms or call me? i've sms him but he didn't reply. i started to get very worry about him as he didn't sound very right this few days. kept saying that left a few months only that he's going to visit his parents and elder sister in New Zealand [which to what i've heard from him previously was they are all in the heaven already]. He also accidently slipped pass telling me that he has got cancer and that's why he has stop drinking. i'm really worry about him.

Guess it's really wrong to have fall for my part time. as he has already got a girlfriend who he has given his commitment to. he told me to remember that never to fall in love so easily especially him. which is what i'm trying to do now. i just wanted to care for him and that's all. i wanted to give him my care and concern, the love that wasn't exist in BG relations but through friendships. and i feel that that's enough for me, so long that he don't leave me, don't ignore me...

He wants me to always remember
1. To take care of myself
2. Never to hurt myself or let others hurt me
3. Don't fall in love too easily
4. Always be a good girl, don't hurt anyone
5. Don't cry

He too also told me that he will always by my side no matter what happens. But i'm really scare that one day he will really leave me.

I REALLY MISS HIM