It's already 5am in the morning already and yet, I'm still here doing blogging cos I couldn't get to sleep.

I'm really feeling very hurt already. Darling hasn't called me for a week already and I'm still waiting here for his calls. But guess he won't... Think he's ignoring me already and doesn't want to talk or contact me anymore.

But I really miss him alot. I've got so many things to tell him, talk to him and share with him. But guess now I can only swallow everything inside my stomach already. I feeling really very down now and had even cried just now.

Though I know that cry doesn't make any difference as he won't know or even won't care i guess but I really don't know why my tears just couldn't stop flowing out. He use to tell me not to cry cos he will get worry or sad. But now, think it doesn't matter anymore.

Oh god... Please help me...

I couldn't go to Xi and talk or share with him cos he's already a married guy. Though he wants to be together with me again, but that's impossible for us to be like we use to be. I can't share anythings with him anymore. It has changed and things are different already.

I really can't figure out what has happen to me. I just couldn't stop thinking about darling and i really miss him alot alot. Can it be I really fall for him without realising it? Oh man... I really can't do that, just like he told me before, NEVER to fall for him. I really can't but I can do nothing to control myself. What should I do now??? Oh man...

I really got no one to share my problems already... Yan got her boy and I could hardly share my problems with her. As she's in love and everything I told her, she would only think I'm just crazy and ridiculous. Just tell me don't think too much.

Maomao, although he's mature enough to hear me out, but his opinion was unrealistic. Shit... What should I do now??? I just hope darling can call me real soon... Please god...