Don't know why these few days i really feel like drinking alot. it seems like i really got alot of problems and didn't know how to resolve it. ya... i know drinking won't solve any problems but to bravely face it...

yesterday went to my great uncle's grandchild's full month party. was like very damn angry after attending lor... cos i was been told that i'm so out of the way la. shit de lor... suddenly don't know why i have relatives, really sometimes i feel hard to communicate... come on la... we are all human beings, we are all the same nothing different. the difference in us was only the way of living. doesn't mean you have a higher education, you can look down on others lor. DON'T FORGET your parents, your grandparents, your grand great parent etc... are also not high educated people lor, but they still survive. Don't understand what's there to look down on others. Don't tell me, the time when you are born, money, high educations etc... just come out with you lor. It's just a batch of shit... All these things are things you earn and learn thru growing.


Really high educated people now are really brainless and no manners... World are really turning very bad now... that's what i can say...


Anyway... yesterday's red wine was very not delicious to drink it just taste awful. My uncle[father's side] still say nice, don't know if he really knows how to drink anot. haha... But the day before red wine was much delicious, it just taste great. My uncle[mother's side], uncle Willie, really knows how appreciate wine. All the wine at his house were those very delicious, very tasteful ones. I just like to drink with him and talk about it with him. haha... Just like uncle Thomas, he too also good at drinking. And they will always have nice wine to share. hehe...


Now, I really have two very headache things on hand that I've go to handle. First, was my career and Second, was relationships. By right, relationship problems shouldn't have occurred in my whole plan. But no choice, sometimes things just happened unexpectedly huh?


Sianz... at this very critical moment for me, there's still relationship problems come and disturb me. Here i was already very worried about my career, was wondering when will sands called me. I worried till my hurt had already sank to the bottom already. then, there's this guy just enter my life making me so vexed about the relationship between us. haiz... it really makes me feel very sick...

The worst part was the thing that I've tried to avoid or prevent from happening has happened, and that's kissing. I've tried to avoid his kiss even only he was just talking or asking about it. But end up, it still happened last friday, which he took me out for a show. I don't know whether is it because i regret to kiss or what but what i know was i really want to avoid it, cos there's some reason behind that i can't say out.

Oh god... yesterday while working at Holland, I just feeling like hugging him just like we hug at the arcade, and i really will miss him if we didn't meet up. What am i suppose to do??? Told him already la, don't treat me so good, now what??? Haiz... headaches, headaches and more headaches...

I just hope Marina sands could call me asap. I really just can't wait to work there already... Please god...