Have taken a half day off my work today. Really not feeling very well, very sian, think I'm getting sick already. Suddenly wake up at 4am in the morning where I only get to sleep at 2am, very weird then after that I can't get to sleep until 5am. Has to wake up at 7am somemore.

Anyway, I'm having a very down mood from the moment I've woke up at 4am. Have think alot about relationships stuff and so on. Really feel very tired and hope to find someone who will be there for me, holding my hands giving me comfort and precious me. However, I'm scare after the break up with my ex. I've got no confidence in guys, I will always suspect why guys will want to be close to me or make friends with me. and on the other hand, I can't get use to guys treating me too good and care for me. I don't really hope they will care for me, cos... I'm afraid that I will get use to it and will fall for them.

Vincent, was treating me way too good already. I told him that I'm in a very bad mood and had even cried last night. So I was feeling very down and ask him if he want to join me for lurch today after my half day work. So he brought me to go eat sushi. I know he actually don't like to eat sushi so i asked him why he still wants to bring me there. His answer was 'because you said you like to eat sushi.' He's really caring and was treating me very nicely, and it makes me feel more scare that i will fall for him and start to depend on him. I ask him, he treats me so good, doesn't he afraid that i will fall for him? but he doesn't give me an exact answer, he just reply what to do?

I'm really very scare and was really troubled. I think I've started to fall for him already cos every night when I closed my eyes, I will saw his face. Oh man... what am i going to do?