I'm starting to countdown on how many days i'm still able to work at NTUC Media and countdown on how many days i still have to work at the Holland Turf Club so that i can be free again.

Don't know why, i suddenly have the feeling of sadness why the time is near for me to leave this two working place, especially turf club. i've asked myself again and agian, why i want to leave the turf club? and my answer was i really hate the executive there and the pressure of pushing up sales... then again... i asked myself again, why can't i bear to leave the place? and my answer was i had knew a lot of nice ppl there and they are really kind to me especially the customers. they really had take very good care of me and i had already make friends with them. so here i was wonder again, will they ever miss me if i didn't work there already? and my answer was i don't know but i will miss them and that's i'm sure of.

anyway... here today, or perhaps these few days, i'm really not in a very good mood starting from thursday. eventually... i've tried to cried on thursday night and indeed i made it but just for awhile only. i feel very uncomfortable inside my heart and was like there something stack inside and was hurting me very painfully.

Think i know the reasons and i should have talk to him already. but i don't have the guts to tell him all this... and him, was like trying to avoid me by saying he was busy and was very very busy. even phone calls was also getting lesser and lesser... these all had made me more sad than ever.

i don't know how to settle this and how to start the whole topic to him. perhaps i should have let go of this feeling or never to start all this bullshit things right from the beginning so that i won't feel so hurt now.

hai... what now? what should i do?