Had went to company's lurch yesterday. and then a movie from my company too... but provided half day paid being deducted which they didn't told me about it at first. damn it right??? got a huge feeling of kana cheated... sian lor...

anyway... don't wish to talk about it anymore... i will be flaming if that will happen again...

wasn't feeling very well since monday, end up yesterday i really have fever while waiting for the movie to start. Vincent had also came at last after a long wondering if he wants to come accompany me to watch the movie or not.

thought i'm going to watch the show on my own, and if that really happens, it will sure to be my first and my last time to watch it alone. if it hasn't vincent promised to accompany me to watch the show, guess he won't appear in front of me ba...

that's what i say, i never like promises. it's just a verbal care not the kind of care and concern that come out thru your heart. just think about it, he actually has something very important to do but he just leave it aside cos he say that he has already promise me that he will accompany me but then if he didn't come, he will feel very bad about it.

this makes me feel that he just might as well don't come... watch movie alone won't kill me, isn't it??? he appears just bcos he has promise which means he didn't actually wanted to watch it isn't it? so i feel that he can just forget it and don't come, cos after the show, he has to rush back again.

this is not what i want... especially it's when i'm sick and not feeling very well. rushing here and there will just make me feel very uncomfortable, which he didn't notice. think the type of care i want, he won't be able to give me. think we aren't suitable for each other, think i'm still unable to really handle relationships very well yet. think the two of us should end here already.

i'm tired of everything... feel so no strength, not even a goal or aim to continue the path in life. sometimes, i really feel very tired of living here in this kind of place. i really feel like leaving this place... to another place where i feel lively, suitable, peace and not stressful... think this kind of place is call paradise ba...

anyway, i've took leave today cos i'm still having fever today and not feeling very well too. i dare not go clinic cos of H1N1... hai... have to cure myself already... hope my illness will recover by friday cos i've got an interview... i must show the best of me there cos the job was really important to me... Jia You!!!