It has been the fourth day after my interview on Friday. I was really very upset about my performance... I really don't even know if i did my best or not... the most important thing was i'm really scare that i won't be shortlisted...

My friends here at NTUC Media was also quite concern about how my interview goes... i'm really upset till i don't even know how to tell them about the interview but i did really badly... i was now wondering everyday when will they contact me and tell me that i'm shortlisted... i pray hard everyday, every hour, every minute and every second...

Aunt Lilian told me not to worry cos she feels that i answer the questions in a really good manner and it can show that how i handle nasty players... Vincent also said that i really had done very well and tell me not to worry so much... but my heart was beating fast and i really can't help not to worry... headache sia...

another thing that makes me feel not good was the relations between vincent and me... think i might be too late to give up on him le... think i've accidently fall for him really deeply that now, when i think of him or his girl, i will feel heart pain... i've hold onto his hand very tightly that specific day... while holding his hands, i was thinking, how long can i still hold onto his hands?

I'm afraid of losing him... i'm scare he will no longer by my side... i'm worry that he won't call again... i'm afraid that i won't be able to see him again... My heart sinks when i think of him, when he didn't call me, even when he's sad or worry about his own problems... I can't stop myself to miss and think of him everyday...

i don't know why i've become like this... it's like really a very dangerous and forgiving thing to do. i was like becoming very weird and seriously disgusting...

Juan told me, i might as well just handsomely let go of this relationship just forget about everything... don't wait till i will get hurt even more... I also know about letting go but the problem is say was easier than do... hai...

Now i'm really very heartaching...